Three decisions: where do we place our children to give them the best education possible? The answer requires lots of prayer, doubt, conversations, pros-and-cons lists, and a good bit of worry packaged into each bookbag.
Every family is different. We have different upbringings, different children, different homes, different jobs, grandparents, parenting philosophies, and on and on. I realized after reading fifty-eleven parenting and homeschooling books that they just didn't and couldn't all work for me. Therefore, my journey and experiences with three different kinds of schools that I will share will most likely not be your same experience. But I do want to give you some facts and some thoughts you may not have considered.
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| photo by Anemone123 from Pixabay |
In the beginning . . .
My oldest began a half-day preschool when he was 4 at our church. He was quiet. Apparently, too quiet. Picking him up one day, his teacher saw me and mumbled, "Alex was here today?" I'm certain they cared for him, but of course, I questioned the level of care and attention. Did they meet his needs? Did they know his needs?
I concluded that this was my job.
I. The Start of Homeschooling
I began homeschooling my son when he was 5, and my middle child was around 1-year-old. I loved it. For income, I cared for children in my home; so, the more, the merrier.
FUN FACTS:
- At a young age, homeschooling is easy and fun. Lots of games, imagination, songs, books, and exploring.
- Nourishment (breakfast and lunch) is assured.
- Correcting behavior is assured.
- Parent-child bonding is strengthened.
- Parents can pinpoint their own child's needs and find the right solution -- not a "fits all sizes" solution.
Some Issues:
- Sources are limited. With a one-income family, parents won't have access to the bells and whistles of the schoolhouse.
- Many parents grow an egocentric ideology of their children. I'll admit - I did. I'm afraid I noticed it in every parent who homeschooled. Homeschooling from kindergarten to 11th grade:
Continued Homeschooling (from kindergarten to 11th grade)
I continued homeschooling after my third child was born, so we had a 5-year age span in our homeschool home. No more childcare in the house; I picked up a weekend job. Homeschooling high, middle, and elementary school was something I could handle. I made Excel spreadsheets to keep up with which child was learning what. They had a schedule to follow for each day. State standards were accessible and gave assurance to my efforts. On a limited income, we weren't able to afford complete educational sets for each child. I had to search and research, so we had an eclectic stack of homeschool books and lessons. And it worked.
FUN FACTS:
- The best memories are made. Camping while homeschooling - I'll never forget.
- Siblings learn to love, encourage on another, to share, and to submit. The importance of family is established.
- The parent-child relationship becomes stronger and more transparent. Trustworthiness is built.
- Our Christian foundation and a love for the church was cultivated.
- Parents can see each child's strengths and weaknesses clearly.
- Community groups, homeschool outings, church gatherings, play groups, field trips, homeschool field day, homeschool conventions, homeschool days at museums, parks, amusement parks, . . . we could have scheduled an outing daily if we didn't have to do schoolwork.
- We made time for grandparents.
Some issues:
- It can be expensive.
- They had no one to compare themselves to, meaning they found their own studying efforts to be sufficient, even when told it wasn't enough. I came to realize that "Doing your best" is a relative term.
- Most of the successful graduates who were homeschooled were also naturally motivated and could grasp knowledge at a higher level than most students. If the homeschooled student is not motivated and isn't showing signs that he could be a genius, the parent will need to power up the motivation tactics consistently and continuously. It's not really a problem, but it can be tiring.
Then, things changed.
II. Private School
I was invited to take a position as a high school English teacher at a local Christian private school. I knew the school was expensive and held high prestige. But I loved homeschooling. We discussed and debated and finally came to a conclusion.
I took the job.
My youngest two entered the school as middle schoolers. My son entered as a junior. The disrespect they encountered from their peers was unsettling and unnerving. My son found a best friend, the girls flirted with him, and the teachers loved his maturity and manners. My youngest found a best friend, but she struggled with the schoolwork. My middle child's best friend dumped her on the spot; she was ostracized, and she struggled in her schoolwork.
It was all or nothing. It was a difficult decision, but we chose to stay.
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| photo by DeltaWorks from Pixabay |
FUN FACTS:
- The facts of life are found being around others. It may not be fair or the way you see it, but it's good for students to experience. Great conversations in the afternoons.
- It's good for them to be taught by someone else besides me, to respect deadlines and due dates, and to take on more responsibility than what I enforced.
- My son enjoyed discussing lessons with other students. He had "never done that before!"
- Clubs, football, games, lunch with friends (& not Mom), being a part of something, extensive resources for learning, Friday night football games, prom, homecoming, retreats, public speaking -- all great experiences!
- A sharing in faith gave us a security.
- The work was rigorous (actually, a little overboard), so good preparation for college.
- Making connections and meeting a wide array of different kinds of people. They are inspired by others.
Some Issues:
- Private schools are not free; considering parents pay, entitlement follows. Consequently (I think), the students are gravely ill-mannered with no repercussions.
- The truth of a living faith becomes mundane and schoolwork. It's not genuine most of the time. Students know the lingo, and they move on.
- Structure can be lopsided and weakly maintained. There's not much accountability or organization.
- One student may have 5 tests in one day. Again, lack of structure.
- Life becomes possible only by revolving around school. (Homework after school all day?)
My son graduated from the private school with few complaints. He's one of the very few from his class that pursued and stuck with college. My middle child also graduated from the school; unfortunately, it was not a good experience for her. And my youngest girl? Well, . . .
III. Public School
We placed our youngest in public school for her junior and senior years. She wants to be a doctor, and the private school didn't have the resources she needed. Also, she lost interest in anything pertaining to school. She is now a senior at the public school, and she is doing amazing!
FUN FACTS:
- Her teachers are top-notch and on top of teaching her in such a way that she understands. They have actually guided her to WANT to learn. She wants to be a doctor again.
- She has a strong Christian foundation and good discernment, so she hasn't been shaken by those around her with different beliefs. She has the opportunity to see how the world really is and how she fits in.
- There's consistency. She knows what to expect from the school, and she knows what they expect from her.
- Parents can't bark at the teachers like they can in private school. I like that.
- Top-notch security.
- The workload is reasonable.
Some Issues:
- The school is huge. There's more competition to contend with, and she can get left behind if she doesn't keep up.
- The language and approaches to life amongst her classmates gets pretty dark sometimes.
- She is no longer the poorest child in her class; however, she sees effects of poverty in some of her peers.
- One size, for the most part, fits all.
Of course, these are the facts and the problems from my view. Yours may be different. But I hope it helps you in determining what is best for your child.
I welcome comments & questions!